The Super Dictionary

Clearly the best imagery for a children’s dictionary — a woman tied up and helpless in an attic.

Wait, Green Lantern?

Why Green Lantern? Did they forget about Green Arrow? Because Ollie is her good friend, not Hal.

But really I’m more concerned and distracted by the fact they for some reason, this is the best they could come up with for the definition of “attic.”

(I waffled a little, but decided to try to tag this with some trigger warnings. Please let me know if you think I should add any others.)

I’d be more likely to listen to Wally, though. He’s just more friendly.

Maybe all those monsters are just figments of her fever dreams.

The careful detail of those bad guys really accentuate how little attention they paid to making that Golden Age Wonder Woman trace.

Speaking of those bad guys, who the hell is the Alfred in the purple tuxedo holding a steaming cup of tea? Is his plan to scald her with his single cup of tea? Or is it the cure for her horrible illness?

We won’t have the answer to this mystery for a while.

Was it a good guy? A bad guy? Did Atom try to eat an orange while he was tiny?

It’s not very good mountain day-time camouflage.

I guess she’s probably looking at some other airplane.

But I bet that airplane in the background is Wonder Woman’s crashing invisible jet!

Oh I get it now! Batgirl is looking at those fighter jets from that same page, and of course Batgirl can’t see the invisible jet because it’s invisible!

[Author’s Note: Sorry for this late conclusion, the queue (once again) screwed me around. TUMBLRRRRRRR D:< ]

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And now it’s time to say good bye to all our company. T-H-E. (seeya real soon!) S-U-P. (why? because we like you!)

Okay I can’t do the whole Mickey Mouse Club finale song like this.

Come back tomorrow for another dose of The Super Dictionary!

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is even going on here:

Why is the entire Justice League watching a woman sleep?

Just hanging out in her bedroom.

Watching her sleep.

Is that Lois? Or SR-12? Even if she isn’t just some anonymous woman, that only makes it a fraction less creepy.

(I bet Hal is looking at everybody else to see if they’re watching him. Because I bet Hal is gross and has a boner.)

Well how can I be brave, Supergirl? I made a question at you, and I need an answer! I need you to talk back to me!

And even I know how you fly, Supergirl. It’s called the yellow sun. Duh.

While I read this, I wondered why I should care.

If Comet’s just “the horse,” then why isn’t Krypto just “the dog?”

Maybe Krypto wasn’t waiting for you, Comet. Maybe Krypto was waiting for his lovely lady dog friend.

Holy cats! Sentient arrows? That’s pretty impressive!

What kind of crazy tricks?

Putting salt in the sugar bowl and sugar in the salt shaker? Hiding the mail? Putting buckets of water on doors?

Anyway, let’s get back to the importance of the word “arrow”, in words straight from the back cover!:

Who decided that? Probably just propagan —

Hm.

No you didn’t, Batman. Because she’s already stolen stuff.

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And with that spectacular failure on Batman’s part, we end today’s edition of The Super Dictionary!

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Batman’s blowing you off, Robin.

You just need to learn that he’ll never really love you.

This really is a theme.

Especially when they keep focusing on her time travel abilities.

That might be the laziest defintion ever. They could use “*blank* read about a *blank*.” for every definition.

Maybe she was doing research so that she could figure out which army she could blend in with.

You can do it, Wonder Woman! You can lift that chair by its arm with your arm! With the part of your body with a hand attached to the end!

I don’t know what a hand is, but I’m sure we’ll learn somewhere in the H’s.

By just…takin’ a swim in a river. No real reason. Just swimming.

(For the non-Americans who didn’t know, “Arkansas” is pronounced “Arkansaw.” I know, it’s weird. I didn’t say it made sense. I just know someone who did think it was pronounced the way it was spelled. Because why would they think otherwise.)

Like, most of the American southwest. Also most deserts you can think of.

Those are some spiffy cowboy boots, Jimmy. And is that…a bolo tie?

Oh. No, just a kerchief.

You’d think thatThe Super Dictionarywould mention that Arizona has the Grand Canyon, and that is probably where Jimmy is sitting, but we all know howThe Super Dictionaryfeels about clarifying.

It doesn’t believe in it.

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And so, yet another off-set color page of The Super Dictionary passes us by, but don’t worry, because there’ll be another one tomorrow!

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Hawkgirl has already proven that she has a mastery of addition, she’d be a perfect study buddy!

I’m a little worried that SR-12 is only just getting around to that now, though. You’d think flying through space as a hero would require basic math skills from the get-go.

I guess it’s difficult to use context clues to define something as basic as “to be” and its present-tense forms, but none of these sentences directly indicate what “are” means. For that matter, neither did “am,” but I got distracted by the weird soap opera dialogue.

But the utter failure of The Super Dictionary as a dictionary is why we love it so much, isn’t it?

So Ted has many little pieces of cloth to wear over his dresses?

Kinky.

(I think they forgot they were writing a book about modern (1970s) women. Teri is never once shown in a skirt, let alone a dress.)

Hm. Yeah. Yeah it is.

Whelp. Moving on!

Those apples look kind of like a hybrid tomato-apple. Tomapple?

I like how he’s just sneering at the apples.

Also, pretty talented of the apples to still fall on top of his hat after he looked up. Maybe they decided that showing an apple smashing his nose was “too violent.”

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And so ends another day in the life of The Super Dictionary. Come back again tomorrow for more!

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