The Super Dictionary

This is the final cast page! Start here to read through from the beginning.

That is some fancy running, Ted. What is going on with your arms?

I actually like the difference in their biographies? And at least both of theirs admit that they’re husband and wife. Unlike someone else I could mention.

But then, they are the last two characters created just for the dictionary, so the writer could actually choose what to write.

Wonder Woman’s biography is longer than everyone else’s. And yes, like Superbaby, Wonder Baby will be making several appearances in this dictionary, and yes, they are all excellent.

(As for Wonder Girl, you might mistake her for Donna Troy, but no! Apparently still Diana. I have my doubts.)

JOKER YOU’RE RUINING MY BOOK! Stop him Batgirl (other name Barbara Gordon)!

Coming up tomorrow — The first page of the letter A. WHAT COULD IT BE? WHO WILL BE SEEN? You’ll have to come back to find out!

Check out under the cut for the un-chopped page!

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We’re over the hump now, and into the second half of these bio pages! Start here if you’re just joining us!

So…he’s Davy Crockett. (P.S. if you’ve never heard of him, don’t worry. He’s another of those made-for-the-dictionary characters.)

Gee willikers, this guy sounds fun, not evil! Silly tricks aren’t so bad, right? I mean it’s not like the Joker is known for brutally murdering people all the time in comics, right? I think Batman, Batgirl, and Robin need to take a chill pill.

It’s nice to have some consistency with the relationships here.

I can’t knock Krypto, though, because he’s just a fun, doofy dog.

OOOOooooOOOO. Superman and Lo-is sittin’ in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

This is the point where I started to notice the complete lack of contractions. This holds up through most of the rest of the book. Despite having contractions in the instructions.

Small rockets? Really? Clearly this person was struggling for something to write and was just grasping at straws staring at the tiny drawing they’d been shown.

And yes. Yes I did laugh at that last line. But who wouldn’t. WE ALL KNOW WE’RE HERE FOR THE CAKES.

Who calls him Mr. Action? Is it the people he pays to call him Mr. Action? I think it is.

I think more people call him Mr. That-Dweeb-Who-Hangs-Around-Superman.

Check out under the cut for the unchopped page!

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I know, I know, this is a lot of cast, but it was either split up all six (six!) pages or have 1-3 gigantic posts, and visually this just works better. See the start here!

Plus these are still hilarious.

Sccccience…? Also, I thought he used his super speed to catch bad people. At least while he’s being the Flash.

And who could ever forget Wilson Forbes, fearless investigative journalist for the Daily Planet, working side by side with the likes of Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen? You? Me too, since he’s another one of those characters created for this book.

Many arrows? Special powers?! I’m sold. Hm…”often works with” Black Canary…That’s a little different from how Canary’s bio tells it.

The writer’s priorities seem a little off. First, Batman is just an inventor, now Green Lantern is boiled down to a dude wearing a ring he has to charge ever 24 hours. Also, Hal’s power ring isn’t magic. It’s science. Allow me to direct you to this citation needed opinion from Wikipedia:

While the ring of the Golden Age Green Lantern (Alan Scott) is magically powered, the rings worn by all subsequent Lanterns are technological creations of the Guardians of the Universe, who granted such rings to worthy candidates. This shift to a technological explanation reflects the comic book industry’s tendency to explain extraordinary powers through science and reasoning rather than magic.

I don’t have much to say about this one. Pretty straight up. The ambiguity of “bad people” continues to amuse me, though.

Failing to mention that you’re married, eh, Hawkman? What’s up with that anyway? Black Canary and her “good friend” and Hawkgirl and her husband. THAT’S SEXIST 1970S — oh wait. Right. 1970s.

See under the cut for the un-chopped page!

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Continuing with the varied cast of characters and their ridiculous biographies. See part one here!

Check out that outfit! Possibly Catwoman’s most practical costume, including her current getup. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Catwoman directly use her cats to fight Batman and Robin, though.

Oh Comet. What this biography isn’t telling us is the part where Comet isn’t really a horse. He’s a cursed centaur and he has a crush on Supergirl.

Hmm…those powers sound…familiar. Except the time travel ones. I don’t think Zatanna has those.

I’ll admit, I don’t know who the heck this woman is. I am digging that space cop hat-helmet combo, though.

El Dragón is not the only character made up specifically for The Super Dictionary (see this article for a complete list), but he is the only one with a separate copyright entry in the front of the book.

I don’t have much to say about this guy. Pretty standard white-man-raised-by-natives backstory.

Check under the cut for the un-chopped page!

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As promised, the who’s who! In case you weren’t sure who people like “Batman” and “Wonder Woman” were, this book spells it out for you, in the plainest possible terms.

(You thought I made that title up myself, didn’t you? Sadly I didn’t.)

Wow, that’s a grim one to start off with. “If he stays out of the water for over an hour, he will die.” Clearly that was the only thing someone could think of to fill the line-quota. No wonder it took so long for Aquaman to stop being lame.

His arms say “I AM MIGHTY” but his legs say “I’m not so sure.” Every time I see Atom, I just think of John C. McGinley and Justice League Unlimited, and I’m okay with that.

I actually have very little to snark about this one, and I’m pleased that this was made during Barbara’s tenure as a Congresswoman. (Okay, “special belt” is pretty funny. It kind of sounds like a magic lamp or something.)

Hm. “Inventor” isn’t the first thing I think of when I think of Batman. It’s one of the things. But not the first.

(On a side note, “secret cave” just makes me think of the awesome song and dance number from Batman Brave and the Bold.)

Green Arrow is her “good friend,” eh? That’s one way to put it. (wink wink nudge nudge)

Check out under the cut for the un-chopped page! (In case you want to save it for posterity or something.)

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So now that you’ve learned how to use The Super Dictionary with help from Atom, it’s time to meet all these kooky characters guiding us through our 1970s America vision of the English language!

I’ve queued up the posts to release all afternoon/evening/applicable time zone time, so prepare to meet Batman (other name Bruce Wayne), Conjura (Never heard of her? Don’t worry, no one has.), Supergirl (other name Linda Danvers), and more!

(If you thought the cover was metaphysical, CHECK THIS BUSINESS OUT. It’s wheels within wheels, man.)

Because this is a book for early readers, Warner Education Services have helpfully opened this book with how to use your dictionary, with help from Atom!

It’s pretty reassuring to know that you don’t have to change your size to use the dictionary. I was worried for a second, there. However, you’re being awfully presumptuous assuming that I know my ABC’s.

I feel like Atom’s summary of how to find the word “story” is less confusing than the page long explanation of how to find the word “story.” But that’s just me.

I guess Atom is looking at the copy of The Super Dictionary that Superman busted through the book with? I can’t be sure, though.

I can’t wait to find out more about the super-people and super-animals in this book! I’m sure we’ll learn a lot about these super-characters that we didn’t know before!

Now that we’ve learned how to use this (questionable) dictionary, next up is the who’s who of superheroes!

(Just look at that fourth wall poppin’ action!)

Several years ago, I came into the possession of a slightly beat up copy of the infamous The Super Dictionary from 1978. It was a “gift” from my then boyfriend (now husband), but really we used him buying it for me as an excuse to have it. It made us feel less guilty than if I just bought it for myself.

This is easily one of the best purchases we have ever made.

It’s a little beat up. The spine image is gone and it’s booktaped. You can see some of the scuffing on the corners. And apparently this copy belonged to someone named “George Hotelling”

(I’m pretty jealous. I wish I had a personalized stamp. P.S. — George, if you’re out there, thanks!)

But overall it’s in pretty good shape. It is a nearly 40-year-old book, after all. We couldn’t have gotten a mint condition copy for ten bucks.

When I first got The Super Dictionary I went and made a giant Facebook album with Photobooth, including my face reactions, but only to a handful of the more than 4,000 words this book boasts.

But now I’ve decided that I want to share it with you, Tumblr. Every definition. Every ridiculous picture. Every hilariously misappropriated comic book image.

And so I will, at a page-a-day, from A to Z. Let’s see how long this lasts.

So let’s get read to follow Barry through the cover, and on an adventure through THE SUPER DICTIONARY.